ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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