Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
