Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize