nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
