I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
