is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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