Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize