worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
