So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i think i have herpe
just one?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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