I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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