I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
