it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize