Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
