ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
