Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
