Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
