I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
