i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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