I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
