it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
