it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
