Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
