10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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