i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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