I think I won the penis lottery.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
