I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
