They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
