His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
