somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
