Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
