The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
