Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i believe in u and ur pee
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
