chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm too high and old for this...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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