There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
