Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
