he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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