i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
