it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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