Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
