I love black thongs
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
