im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
