is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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