but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
smell my finger.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
