she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
