At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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