One girl and one boy is just not enough.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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