Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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