I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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