Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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