dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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