I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
