so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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