i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
