Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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