I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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