Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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