he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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