She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I need water and some morals
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize