So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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